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Transformational Talk
Do You Enjoy Being Alone?
For many, being alone raises the specter of loneliness so quickly it’s hard to know what aloneness actually feels like. Crucial differences between aloneness and loneliness often get lost in confusion. For example, you can be lonely and miserable when surrounded by people, and feel full and nourished when alone. The challenge is to know when to seek loving human connections to soothe loneliness and when to explore the sanctuary of solitude.
Here’s the tip. See if you’re ready to experiment with consciously choosing “a little” aloneness. If no, consider professional help for deeper healing. If yes, make a list of people who find you delightful (at least occasionally!) Plan for time alone doing something you enjoy. Place your list in a pocket near your heart and take it with you. Once embarked, see how you feel. If thoughts of loneliness arise (this is normal,) exhale and wait a moment to see if they pass. If sad, mad, scared emotions arise (also normal,) stay in your body and see if they, too, pass. Be tender with yourself. Place your hand on your heart whenever necessary. If loneliness overwhelms, reach to loved ones for support.
If you discover you like being with yourself, notice what amuses you about what you’re doing. Laugh out loud. Appreciate your inner observations. Slow down to savor your rich responses to whatever you’re experiencing. You can enjoy yourself, you’re in good company. ©
Penelope Young Andrade, LCSW www.penelopetalk.com Call: 858-481-5752 fax: 858-484-8374 email: PenelopeYAndrade@gmail.com